Yesterday in Integral lecture we were discussing our inner critics, and what it dose to us and how we perceive it. Honestly, mine is basically my entire personality and I wasn't about to put that fact out onto an open platform like that. After your lecturer posed the question he came around to our "support groups" for lack of a better term. He came to mine and one of the more outspoken surface design girls spoke up before anyone could. She proceed to go into a lengthy explanation about hers and what it meant to her. I kinda zoned out for a moment, when I came back someone else was explaining that they don't have a critic really. When they are feeling down and negative about something they see it as God speaking to them and telling them to find another path.
Her words struck a cord with me. She has mot seen and yet she still believes. I am a born-and bread Roman Catholic with all but one member of my family both immediate and extended the is not of the same faith. My grand mothers still practice age old tradition of wearing a veil. My families faith is do deep and ingrain that we are part of the very fiber of the church. My uncle is the Decon. My grand mother on my dad's side is close friends with the Arch Bishop of CPT. my mother is the Principal of Catecetics at my parish. My aunt is in charge of Renewal. I, myself was a catechist, was a part of youth alpha, was a part of the band, was a part of the drama section and was an alter server.
What caught me off was her conviction. Even though on paper it looks like I have been so involved and that I must be so deep and saturated in the faith, I'm not. The only thing that gives me that faith and belief and spirit she was talking about is listening to an amazing choir and trying to sing along, and dancing with my faith dance group Magnificat. But still sometimes I feel like such a phony because I have the practice be not the faith to back it.
No comments:
Post a Comment