My realized self

My conceptual self

After some thought I decided to use the theme of 'the revealed and the concealed'.This was a theme tacked by the matric class ahead of mine. I had a few friends in the art class and was intrigued by what they came up with .  

I already had pre-pleated fabric and decided to use that and make a high-waisted floor length skirt from it. I kept the deigns simple and clean with no added extras. The representation of me is the symbolized in various aspects of the skirt its self. 

The top layer of fabric has pleating and is visible to all. A hint on the under layer can be seen. People who don't know me well but they can see that I'm a layered person and that there is a softer center behind my 'nothing bothers me' front.

On the sides of the skirt there is a pleat that hides two hidden panels on either side. This shows that even on the top most level of my personality there all thing that I keep to myself unless I choose to reveal it.

The elasticated waistband is attached to both the top and under layer of the skirt. It was cut mostly to size with a small amount of give. This shows that my ways and mean are in constant flex. And that my personality can change in small amounts.

The under layer was purposely sewn on with the wrong side visible and with the seams left raw and unfinished. My friends and the people I allow in to my life are the only ones that can see through the sarcastic and witty front I put up. They see a truer version of me. They see the raw and unpolished me.

The inset in the underskirt is my way of showing that even though the people closes to see a truer me. There are still pieces of myself that I keep hidden.

I left the hem uneven and unfinished to show that I'm a person who is still growing and evolving.

I'm not quiet finished. I've still got a long a too go but at least this project has started my on my road to that growth. 

To Reveal and Conceal

The Fabric

Cutting the lining

Hidden pleat

Panels

Uneven unfinished hem

Lining to skirt

Elastic waistband to Skirt 

Panels in the pleat

Hidden lining

Bottom of lining 

Stitch wrong side up

Hidden inside panel

Testing

A mirror to my spyglass

Throughout this week I've been thinking about the feed back my friends gave me. I received the kind of response that I expected. With creative, fashionable, bossy and sarcastic to name a few. But few responses took me by surprise like Kristen's and Chane's. But Rushana'a response rocked me to the core. 

From a young age I've been a self-sufficient person. Teaching myself about the world I inhabit  I learnt to deal with my sorrow and hide it from everyone as well as my joy. I learnt how to pour it out into something,leave it there and try and walk away. I made sure that I had a method of dealing with people that stepped over my proverbial line in the sand. Reading this you may think I had this horrific childhood filled with neglect. But honestly most of it was self imposed. I was awkward and shy and easily over looked or just as easily noticed and therefore picked on. A bad combination to have especially when you have a sibling that is the opposite and is seeming always the apple of everyone's eye. 

Over ten years later and the same rings true. I am still awkward, shy and now relatively over looked. The method I employed for people who stepped over my proverbial line is that harsh sarcastic snap my friends spoke about. I find my release in dancing and with music that touches my soul.  My way of hiding is to wrap myself up in a fantasy world. I've never shared this world with anyone. I never explained to anyone why I find such joy and tranquility in it until recently. I give her a small snippet from my fantasy world and she turned out to be just as enthralled as I was. 

Seeing this might have opened my truer self to the world. The fact that she saw through me with such ease while other that have known me for much longer still struggle have me the idea for my garment. 

Through a chosen spyglass

After having ask my family last week who they think I am, I decided to pose the same question to my close friends. I believe the people on your close circle are the people who you would choose to be your family if you were given the chance... that's what I believe.

Throughout the stages of my life i tend to start out with a large group of friends. But as time progresses it will whittle down to two or three people that I can true become close with. When I'm with these group my personality tends to shift ever so slightly. I recently realized this but I cant pin point when this started or why. Its become ingrained into my personality now. Its interesting to see how each of these people see me so differently.

Lecole: "Fashionable, friendly, creative"
Kelly: Spunky, talkative, loving, sarcastic person"
Ivan: "Ambitious, driven, takes on a role of leadership, creative"
Amy: "Expressive in many things and the way choose to do them in."
Chane: " You are a beautiful young lady inside and outside. You have a unique sense of style. You radiating with confidence. You are caring, fun and have a great leadership quality. You are ambitious. You know what you want in life. You are a good friend and very motivating."
Kristen: "You are knowledgeable and wise beyond your years. You may come across very soft-spoken and a pushover, and while this may be true to those you allow in, once we get a little closer we find that you are strong-willed, independent  and speaks your mind you feel its necessary. You loves the finer things in life, have an exquisite artistic flair and the ability to combine these two and create something amazing."
Rushana: "You very bossy, well maybe you like taking the lead and you're not keen on waiting on others. You don't get very close to people easily. You have a mean streak as well, well not a mean as in rude,  you just know how to burst someones bubble. You tend to keep people at arms length and I suppose its because you don't want them to get to close to see how mushy you actually are. Because you are a soft person but you hide behind all your bossiness and your snide remarks. But you are good for a laugh. All in all you a good person with a soft heart but you don't let people walk all over you."

 Mercurial me, I guess.

Through the inherited spyglass

The question of WHO AM I has unequivocally stumped me. I am a person fraught with contraindication and deep-seeded emotional complications. like everyone to some extent. I decided to see what other peoples views are of me before I try and explain in my own words who I think I am. 

I decided to start with family as they are the people you would have spend a large portion of your life with. My only female cousin from my mom side said "Artistic, Creative, Outspoken, Bubbly, Fierce  Feisty and True to my soul". Everything but the bubbly bit resonated with me. The woman I see as an older sister and mentor said " You're a strong, confident young woman who knows what she wants and is not shy to go for it." This is often who people describe me. I am seen as this head strong  strong willed kinda bossy woman... Not many people know see or even know about the vulnerable little girl in me that always wonders if she'll be enough someday. 

My cousin sent me these and said that she thinks of me when she sees them. 

The Next Chapter

Today we received the our new integral studies brief it reads as such:

"Learning outcomes:

• To develop new self awareness
• To begin awareness of the upper left quadrant in Integral Theory [personal interior]
• To creatively explore ones Field of Design
• To use Design as a vehicle for self expression and self exploration

Task:

• The making of the object needs to be comprehensively documented and this documentation posted on your blog.
• This needs to be accompanied by a written script explaining the object you have made (minimum 1 page word document normal spacing)
• You will not be handing in your object, your project will be assessed via the blog.

Guidelines:

• Use the Who Am I? worksheet as a framework to focus your research. It is recommended that you do journal work with these topics
• Your documentation needs to show evidence that you have made the piece
• Include relevant reference and process documentation
• Make your posts accessible; use a clear layout template, and legible font
• Use images, videos, diagrams etc. which are relevant
• Treat you posts as an essay - introduction, body and conclusion
• Keep it concise
• explore various techniques and materials"

As  I've previously stated I find this subject to be quiet jarring and intrusive and some what uncomfortable. But I must persevere and do what I can. As for my concept and related things... I have no idea.